Forty Theagues.

Hiding for a century and a half in the footnotes of Sir Richard Burton's first translation of One Thousand and One Nights, purportedly fabricated during Scheherazade's nine hundred thirteenth night, creamily woven into the sixth tale of Sinbad, wherein he falls victim to the pleasantest of doldrums as his vessel is stranded in a sea of the most delicious hummus:

Made-Up Hummus

2 cans of chick peas
1 large clove of garlic
2 lemons, juice of
1/4 cup olive oil
1/4 cup soy milk
3 tbsp tahini
1/2 tbsp cholula (or other hot sauce)
1/2 tbsp ground cumin
1/2 tbsp paprika
1 tsp sugar
1 tsp salt
1/2 tsp black pepper
1/2 tsp chili powder

Add chick peas to the food processor, setting aside the liquid from one of the cans. Combine all ingredients in the food processor and puree. Add chickpea liquid until you reach the consistency you like. Salt to taste.

Variations:

1. Smooth - Omit hot sauce add 2 tbsp cream cheese

2. Tangy - Replace hot sauce with crushed red pepper, add 1/3 cup cilantro and 1 tsp onion salt

3. Decadent - Replace soy milk and sugar with whipped cream (to taste)

4. Rasta - Replace lemons with 1/2 grapefruit, add 1/3 cup cilantro

5. Extreme - Replace all ingredients with Mountain Dew