In with the New

As I'm soon to no longer be a resident of the School, I leave this blog in the able hands of Theresa, lover of kittens. If you want to see what I'm up to, you can now find my updates and rants at my new blog, I've Lost My Super Powers.

lovelove,
Michela

My Precious

I have decided to keep the kitten twins. I cannot imagine coming home and not being greeted by loving kitten kisses and purrs or being awoken at dawn to their kitten play on my bed. They no longer both fit in the palm of my hand—they have grown so fast—they each get an arm crook when carried together. Foxtrot (left) and Goblin (right) have dimensionally increased since Jonathan took the photo a month ago; additionally, Goblin's ears have perked up a bit and I think Foxtrot looks a bit like a shepherd hound of sorts.

Resignation

Dear everyone,

I quit.

Sincerely,
Michela

greensboro.june2k9

I'm tired and way behind on life, but my weekend trip was totally worth it. I drove to ATL on Thursday afternoon to hang with Faithie, Kateness, Brooke, and La. Even though I was recovering from an illness and felt pretty flu-ish, I had fun with those girls. Also, I learned about fainting goats. Why didn't someone tell me sooner?! Anyway, I want to get back to Atlanta soon. It was the most.

Kate, Faith, and I drove to Gboro on Friday, but not before eating waffles and figs and mango and gummy bears, and making one stop at H&M. Saturday morning was farmers' market, and giant blackberries, and purging Faith's car, and mustaches, and Nancy (complete with real live babies!!!), and Anthony, and grilling, and enforced showers, and celebrating Kate's birthday, and staying up all night, and nerd-room slumber party.

Saturday was a blast, but it was a lot to take in, too, so Sunday we had a necessary viewing of Step Up 2 The Streets and nerd-room chillzone for pretty much the entire day while Faith studied and Kate hung with some peeps. Mostly just chatting and music and youtube. I went to bed just as Faith was leaving for school in the morning. Kate said goodbye while I was still in bed, but I eventually got up and got things together enough to spend twenty minutes with Adam before Devender took me to the airport.

Now it's back to real life and responsibility. But at least the photos are good.

Indian Cinema & Nail-biting

I'm watching a buttload of great movies for my Indian cinema class and only one so far has been mainstream Bollywood. I think I mentioned Khabi Khushi Khabie Gham already. Pretty hilarious and definitely worth putting on while you're doing something else, since it's unnecessarily long. My least favorite so far has been Charulata, which relies heavily on mood, camera work, etc. The director, Satyajit Ray, is a big name in indie cinema. It's still good, but it's slow. We watched a clip from another one of his movies called Devi, and that looks rad. The other two we've seen were movies about village life that dealt with class and gender issues. I dig both of them: Ankur and Mother India. Ankur is probably a better movie (directed by Shyam Benegal, who's considered to be Satyajit Ray's successor), as Mother India is kind of over the top, storywise. But one of the kids in the latter film really makes it worth watching–he's a badass. Mother India the only one besides Khabi Khushi that has singing in it, but there are no big dance numbers and the songs are kept to a minimum. I haven't checked about the others, but Ankur is available on Netflix. I'm deciding pretty soon what to focus on for my final paper, so I'll be watching a lot more movies either on a specific topic or by a single director. I'll drop some more knowledge soon.

I'm headed to Greensboro tomorrow afternoon via Atlanta. I can't wait to see folks, some of whom I didn't get a chance to catch up with on the last trip. Tim and co. are letting me help out with his cause by organizing the web stuff. I'm so glad to be able to do something, though I wish I was closer and could be more helpful day to day.

July is going to be busy as hell for me anyway, though. I have to turn more serious attention to my class, find a place to move and possibly do the actual moving, and prepare for my trip to Sri Lanka. It takes place during my only break from school, making the move and the vacay a little more complicated. I'm so incredibly excited, though. Nervousnervousnervous about getting it all done, but excited.

Listening to: Nothing Compares 2 U - Sinnead O'Conner; Reason to Believe - Rod Stewart

One Crazy Summer

The Cigar Box art, etc. show was last night and despite it being incredibly hot and stuffy upstairs, it was a lot of fun. Anthony and Laura read, and the Hank Lazard crew did a live recording of the podcast. Unfortunately it became a leave or die situation due to the heat, so I missed Rev. Jack Ladybird and Hightower's performance.

John and I headed out to my new fave bar and other folks followed after the CBHL show was over. I hafta say, the place pretty much rules. I'm glad I'm having some fun this summer before I say goodbye to Birmingham for a while. My art history MA is a joint program with Tuscaloosa, so I've decided to move and take the rest of my classes there. It's not too far from Bham and I have a few friends there already. I'll miss my peeps here, but I won't miss worrying about who I might run into or being regularly reminded of recent unpleasantness. I'm hoping it will be somewhat of a fresh start without having to wipe the slate completely clean. I suppose you could say that I'm running away, but in this case I think that's just fine. Maybe I'll find my way back to Birmingham one day, or maybe I won't. We'll just have to see.

current music: Alone with His Guitar - Hank Williams

The All Night Date

I spent all of Saturday at home, cleaning up from the party, making food, hanging out, etc. When eleven p.m. rolled around I realized that I was really antsy to get out and go somewhere, so I asked John to take me for a drive. We cruised around Mountain Brook and he took me to Birmingham's Inspiration Point or whatever it's called here. A make-out spot with a view, but no parking, so you have to get out of the car and sit on the grass. Not being that down with noshing in front of others, we stuck to admiring the city lights.

We were talking and joking and having so much fun that I didn't want to go home yet, so we got some gas station coffee and went wandering around Wal-mart. I'm not sure how long we were there, but it was quite a while. John's allergies had him sneezing non-stop, adding to the meth head look we'd acquired by staying up too late and drinking coffee after midnight. In desperate need of food, we headed to Al's and chilled there with french fries and omelets. Finally we headed home to drink a beer on the porch. The sky got lighter and we decided to walk to find a place to watch the sun rise. I thought of it too late, though, so we modified our course and headed to Five Points for coffee. We arrived half an hour too early, but we figured that by the time we walked to 22nd and 2nd Ave N, Urban Standard would be open. Turns out they're not open at all on Sundays, but the walk was really fun and relaxed, so I didn't mind a bit.

Everything after we got back home is a bit of a sleep-deprived blur. I just know there was more laughing and carrying on and that I went to sleep exhausted and happy.

Date score: 10 out of 10

Now My House Is Full

Excellent party on Friday, though a couple of key players, like Rodney, were absent. Much fun and an interesting group of people now that all the borders have mostly independent social circles. Not independent enough to be completely drama-free, but as close as I can imagine getting for a while. We picked up a temporary roommate, Dustin, as the party as well. He's crashing on our couch and doing some work for John's dad before resuming his travels, either here in Bham, or elsewhere.

I had to make some tough, sad decisions last week. I did my best and I think everything's ok, but it wasn't much fun. I've had a lot of amazing awesomeness going on, too, though. I'm dead tired and overstimulated, but happy and confident. I'm going back up to Greensboro at the end of the month to see Tim. I'll be driving up from ATL with Faith, and then flying back after a few days. Also, I just realized that I'm supposed to have some pieces in a CBHL art show this weekend, so I'm going to go work on that.

Game on.

The Perfect Storm

I'm sometimes amazed at what pops up as autofill options when I start to type things into various fields. People have clearly been doing very weird thing with this laptop while I'm asleep. Anyway, I know it's been a while. I dropped out of life for a few weeks. I don't feel too bad, since it appears that everyone else is taking a beginning-of-the-summer break as well. There's been an absolute drought of blog and lj posts.

This week I went to the grocery store for the first time in two months. The break was the result of travel combined with an unwillingness/inability to provide myself with the necessities of life. It felt pretty amazing to finally step into a Publix and buy produce. There are beautiful fresh flowers all over the house and everyone is getting their stuff settled and arranged. The combo of exams, shifting roommates, and multiple vacations left the School looking like a bit of a wreck for a while. I think it created a negative feedback loop with my life. We're finally ready to let people back into the house, though, so we're having a house re-warming party on Friday. It'll be nice to have a house full of half-drunk, happy friends again.

The weather is nice and hot now, and my little garden is growing fast. My trips to Maine, North Carolina, and Florida were all super rad, if exhausting. My only really complaint is that my heart is like gasoline and I've encountered too many matches in my travels. Portland is definitely my favorite of the places I visited, in terms of the actual city. It was so awesome and super important to see Maggie after such a stressful few weeks at the end of April. West Palm Beach was lovely and lazy. North Carolina was emotional and amazing. I've seen so many people that I care about...Maggie, Keith, Chris, Tim, Kaylan, Faith, Lis, Devender, Sarah, Kenny, Adam, Ty, Greg. It's overwhelming in the most wikkid of ways. I'm back in town for at least a little while, though, and glad to be slightly more settled.

Summer school has started and my Indian cinema class is rad so far. The first movie we watched, Kabhi Khushi Kabhie Gham was totally epic, fascinating, hilarious, etc. A serious, all-out Bollywood blockbuster. It seems like the summer term will be chill and fun. I need to kick things into gear with Napoleon, though. I've been distracted of late and spend most of my time putting off the things on my to do list rather than getting things done as usual. Things are turning around, though, and I'm sure I'll settle into something more calm soon. In the meantime, though, I'm having fun feeling like at an extended slumber party.

Holy Cow! I'm Famous! (but not really)

I've been really needing some good news, to put it lightly, and it looks like today was the day. Lunch with Evan in the park, which was really nice, and got me in a much better mood. Then when I got home I had a letter from the chair of the department notifying me of a sweet little scholarship. Joy came over and we went to group meditation. It was so good to see her, especially since I've been in a state of utter despair for the last little bit, and really have hardly wanted to leave my bed. But the absolute best news has to be that Napoleon was featured on Apartment Therapy!!!!!! I am so totally stoked and can't even believe it!

I have a lot of things to get done this week before I spend a whole bunch of time out of town. I'm finishing up the binding on Mark's quilt, so I'll have photos of that soon. I'm trying to crank out some Pillow Monsters to take to Tuscaloosa before I leave, as well. Friday evening I'm headed to Atlanta from whence I'll fly to Palm Beach on Saturday. Back to Birmingham via Atlanta on Tuesday, and then I head to NC on Thursday for a visit with my friends and family.

Greg went back to New Orleans yesterday morning after a long weekend visit. We got a private yoga session from Jasper on Friday afternoon, and spent all day Saturday at the last day of my class at the Shambhala Center. Greg was pumped about both activities, which is rad, and a little unexpected, honestly. The all-day session was good for me, too, though it was sometimes frustrating and definitely left me drained. We got a good nap in and dinner at Chez Lulu before the Red Mountain Family Band played at Greencup on Saturday night. Two Tears and Dan Sartain (the bands we opened for) were a lot of fun, as was the afterparty at AC Temple, despite the fact that many a man went shirtless (Why, boys? Why?), and Firewater Charlie nearly fell backwards off the porch.

Three kittens are still mewing away in some remote room of the house, and poor Theresa is working herself ragged keeping them fed, clean, and warm. Kitten poop is not awesome, I'll tell you that much. Hayley has been making the sort of dinners I wish I still made, but don't have the energy for. Jennifer is working mad overtime and planning on moving her stuff in this weekend.

For entertainment and distraction, I still can't beat Avatar, but I've also been reading Gone with the Wind (my first time reading it, though it's one of my favorite movies) and When Things Fall Apart (Pema Chodron). Sleeping is up toward the top of my list, too.

bebés preciosos

The kitten zombie routine is setting in: wake up and respond to the cries, prep and warm the formula, heat the water bottles, prepare the temp bed, bathe, stimulate bowels, bathe, dry, bottle feed, repeat, repeat, clean main bed, wash soiled bed laundry, and finally, put kitties back to bed.
The vet told me today that it is kitten season and "god sent these kittens to you for a reason". WTF???

Left snuggler: Greedy Girl
Center stripy: Gray Greedy Boy, Squealer. Squelch
Right longhair: Girl Girl, Baby Bit

Anyone looking to adopt a kitten out there?

Substitute Baby Mama

So, Melissa's visit to the vet resulted in homes for only three of the six kittens. The other three are awaiting rescue. They were treated for fleas at the veterinarian's office and later given baths by Melissa and I. They look effing adorable, but this is only while they sleep. I am finishing their third feeding, which averages around 2 hours of wailing/screeching/squirming/clawing/suckling/climbing/crying/pushing/nibbling....
Help. Please. Someone.

Melt My Metal Heart

I came downstairs to fetch the compressed air and overheard the mewing of kittens from under our house. Just to be sure, I walked outside to take a look. Eureka! In an overgrown patch of blackberry brambles I found a nest of teeny-tiny and very hungry babies. I could not help myself, their eyes had just started opening and they were crying, so I crawled in and plucked them. Melissa came over and we searched for an animal shelter that would take six kittens--she just left to take them to a veterinarian in Homewood.

Uploading in Order to Free Space on My Mental Flashdrive

Hectic,hectic,lazy,lazy,lazy. I'm coping by making too many plans and offering favors to other people that I don't always have time for. Schoolwise I'm a wreck until Monday, and personally I have a million and one things to do before I leave for Maine on Thursday, which I'm totally impatient for anyway.

Greg and I are talking every morning, making plans for the day, helping each other out. He's going to visit after I get back from Maine, and come to the last day of my class at the Shambhala Center. Ty is supposed to be coming through town around then, too, which is great, since I always tell him he's my personal bodhisattva. Also, Jasper is going to give Evan, Greg, and me a private yoga lesson. Yay! I'm always so happy when someone starts doing yoga, or even does a couple of classes, because it's so totally awesome for mind and body, but it takes actually doing it to realize how great it is.

I'm going up to North Carolina at the end of the month, too, for a good visit with my college friends and my fam. It seems like a lot of people have been having a rough time lately (to say the least, in some cases), but I'm so glad that Guilford left us with an amazing, loving support system. When I was there it often felt too small, especially since we were young and prone to making many mistakes, but in the end I guess the drama left us all closer and wiser.

I've renewed my efforts to be mindful (read: present) in the last couple of weeks, which has in turn made me think a lot (is that irony?) about the very fine point that is the gap between opposing forces. In a lot of aspects of my life, my goal is to exist in that gap, but it's difficult to find. How do you locate prudence between unneccessary risk and overworrying, the point of being between ignoring and clinging, or forgiveness between anger and exposure to more emotional harm? Its like the gap you look for in meditation, where your inner dialogue stops for just a moment, and that doesn't happen very often for me. I guess right now I'm just glad that I'm looking for it, and that I've become honest enough with myself that I sometimes get close.

Enough personal journey stuff, though. As soon as my last exam is over on Monday afternoon, I'm going to make a whole mess of pillow monsters and bring them to Tuscaloosa to put in a friend's shop. Then when I return to Birmingham it's t-shirt printing time like a mofo. Stay tuned for greeting and news from Portland, ME.

oh, p.s., Red Mountain Family Band and Beaux Animaux played last night with Neeta (sp??), Kirby Russell, and Important Eagle. Way fun. RMFB shows are greatly improved by a reasonable number of mics. BA ruled, per usual, and have several new fans after last night. They're patiently awaiting final cuts from their recording sesh. Gonna be so rad.

Currently reading: Cutting Through Spiritual Materialism by Chogyam Trungpa
Currently recommending: A Path With Heart by Jack Kornfield (a great book with a really unfortunate title and jacket design); The Miracle of Mindfulness by Thich Nhat Hanh (if you want to know a little about the basics of meditation); drinking lots of water; red Civic hatchbacks; Brass Bed from Lafayette, LA; summer in Birmingham, AL; awesome friends

Emp-ty to the G

Magic the Gathering on the porch this weekend, anyone?

Turn and Face the Strange

May Day approaches and with it, a huge shift for our little family. Devon is off to see what living with people her own age is like. And Evan is going to live on his own for the very first time ever. He's got a great new apartment all ready for him to make his own. My studio is moving upstairs, so I'll really be living with my work. And Hayley and some other lucky guy/gal are going to make the Rowe School their home.

I've thought a bit a about whether I should change the name of the blog, but it comes down to this: Evan is my family and this house is still what's it's been from the beginning. So The Rowe School for Girls, it will remain.

There really couldn't be a more appropriate time for me to start going to the Birmingham Shambhala Meditation Center. Buddhism seems depressing to a lot of people, what with all that talk of suffering and impermanence. But those things are reality, and avoiding them only makes things worse. So I'm trying to open myself to change, as difficult as that sometimes is. It helps that I like my life here, the city, and the friends I've made. Although I suppose if I were really being Buddhist about the whole thing I'd realize that those things will also change. What better reason to be present?

NewNewNew!!!

• New washboard. Rodney's disintegrated into a pile of wood and string and scrap metal. But check this baby out! She's beautiful.

• New veggie plants in the garden. I even splurged and bought a raspberry bush.

• New Pillow Monsters. Sooooo cute!

• New quilts in the shop. Finally took photos of the ones that are finished, and here is a WIP. It's for a friend, but there will eventually be some in the shop, too.
• New RMFB photos. We did the shoot, finally. The location was awesome and I love Bre's photography so I'm totally stoked to see the final result.

Beaux Animeaux is playing tonight at Greencup with Brass Bed and Imaginary Planes. RMFB has a show May 1st at Safari Cup. More details to come.

Joy's birthday party was Sat. It was rad, but I strongly advise that no one ever try two simultaneous pinatas ever again. I thought Joy was going to die. The cake was wikkid awesome and rainbow like the one I've totally been wanting to make forever. Now I extra want to make one because it's so much fun inside!!! And of course Hank Lazard and crew were hilarious. I think everyone has a new appreciation for "Woolly Bully."

Are You Here to Stay?

I'm hoping so very hard that the warm weather is here for good this time. I'm feeling better than I have in days. Of course that's probably because I got a big project out of the way–a presentation on 18th century gothic revival in design and architecture. Riveting, isn't it?

Beaux Animeaux got a big project out of the way, too, as I mentioned last time. They were gone all weekend recording and then Evan spent Sunday evening listening to rough cuts of the tracks. I'm pretty sure I vowed not to date musicians after my first boyfriend. I guess it's lucky for me Evan is only pretending. But seriously, the tracks sound good. The album is gonna be wikkid awesome.

I finally got out and weeded the raised beds for this years garden and started some flowers indoors. I suppose I'll try to get some veggie plants this weekend. Fewer tomatoes this time, and I'm going to try chives, beets (though they didn't turn out last year), and Japanese eggplant. Maybe some chillis? Hopefully I've learned from the first go round and will be more successful this year.

On a personal note, recently I've been having a bit of a buddhist existentialist crisis, though it's subsided a bit. As I've probably mentioned before, I'm rather negative in some respects. I might even say that I have a teeny tiny evil streak, and not in that sexy, glamorized way. Besides being judgmental, I've got a lot of hate-y feelings, especially when it comes to people who've done me wrong. "Yes, of course. Everyone does," you might think. But this is a problem. Shadenfreude to the extreme. Revenge fantasies. Utter delight at the thought that their uppance will come. But I don't want to be this way. It makes me unhappy. It makes other people unhappy. I want to be a good Buddhist, practice loving-kindness, and make everything better, not worse, even for people who've hurt me. But how do I get over it when hating feels so good? (I mean it. It's pretty sick really.) And more importantly, how do I practice loving-kindness and protect myself at the same time? Probably the answer is to not try to protect yourself, to let go of fear and let things be how they are. But that's a lot easier said than done. So those are my struggles right now. Any tips? I see a lot of meditation in my future.

Pillow Monsters Are Here!

Pillow Monsters are now available in the Napoleon shop. Each one is different and sweet and special in its own way. I want to keep them all to just have a big pile of monsters to cuddle! There are some new pillows and quilts to add, too, but I haven't photographed them yet. Shooting quilts is probably the hardest thing I have to do for the shop. They'll be up as soon as I get a chance, though.

I also wanted to share oh fransson's photostream with you. Her quilts are bright, bold, and easy enough for a first project. She also has great informational studies of color using fabric, and her blog has some quilt-along tutorials with lot's of helpful photos.

Beaux Animeaux is up in northern Alabama recording this weekend. I hope all is going well. I can't wait to hear the results. I'll let you know as soon as the album is available.

How Well He Made Seem

And how well boy made seem that the hammer in hand
was for the heads of the nails, not the head of a man;

and how well had his wife deftly acted her part
for the owner of bar: his cold bed; his old heart.

She had learned the two codes through the safe-box's locks
when she said don't you trust me? in nothing but socks.

How that rich old fool bill was no match for her eyes!
What a tool! (And a tool would soon be his demise.)

Bill had hired a strong dark-skinned boy to repair
the red awning outside that the winter'd worn bare.

Boy pried open the door with the opposite side
of the hammer he'd sharpened that morning beside

his gold naked young wife with obsidian hair,
a Caribbean wink and oblivious stare:

just this opiate girl in whose honor one might
send young Helen of Troy off to Carthage to fight.

So boy snuck with his tool to the office of bar
where sat old foolish Bill with his foolish guitar.

He was strumming a tune he could hardly recall
when the shadow appeared big and black on the wall

of a hammer—the singular shape of its head